Monday, September 21, 2009

The ups and downs of it

Kaylee came home on Friday. I had no choice but to run around with her. It was great medicine! I missed her terribly and was so glad to be her #1 go-to person!

Saturday was rough.

Emotionally and physically, Matt and I were drained.

There was a lot of crying, doubt and fear.

It happens on this roller coaster of cancer. Remembering it will pass and I will feel healthy again was more than difficult.

Sunday was a turning point.

I ate well.

I drank a lot of water.

I laughed a lot with good friends.

And I shaved my head!

I feel like Natalie Portman in V for Vendetta.

I also had a great acupressure/reiki/massage session with Vanessa, my sister in law. She found a ginger tea that I love!

I felt reborn in positive energy and spirit.

And just in time, because Sunday night I left my family once again to stay at the RMH and resume treatment.

So, here I am.

I continue on my path of what seems to be most resistance, savoring the good days and pushing through the bad.


becca said...

I'm glad you got to spend time with Kaylee before heading back to the city.

Michael Levy said...

Stay strong!

Anonymous said...

Hey girl. I think about you everyday. I wish Billy & I could be there to help out. Love you lots.


Jeff Culbertson said...

I know it doesn't seem like life will ever be normal again, but it will be. It won't be the same as it was BC, but it will seem normal.

You won't believe it right now, but one day you'll realize you went an entire day without thinking about Cancer.

Don't give up, don't give up, don't give up.

Jay Aho said...

Wendy. I happened on to your blog because of the agile content, but I am naturally taken by your current circumstance. I'm pulling for you, and will be praying for you as well. I hope to get to know you better through your blog. Thanks for sharing with us.

Anonymous said...


I also found your blog looking for Agile content and I was moved by your posts. Best of luck with your treatment and there's a stranger pulling for you if that helps at all.


CJC said...

Wendy. I happened on to your blog because of casuality. I'm in Spain and I've just had a girl one year ago. We past a cancer in my family just two years ago and now all is forgoten. I learned one thing from that. First, fight for all you love, second, follow with your life as much as possible, it will make easyer for your realtives. Go on, we will keep thinking on you.

Technologiclee said...

I made it through a year of chemo and two operations. I am still here. Gingersnap cookies are good for the nausea. There are other remedies that your doctor is not allowed to tell you because of insurance restrictions. Do your homework. It is a lot easier to become educated now than it was when this happened to me. Try to eat whenever you can even if you do not feel hungry. There is a way to increase your appetite. The hair will grow again, maybe even a little different color. You are lucky to have the support of your friends and family. Smile. Visualization has been clinically proven to work.
Best of wishes,
My thoughts and energy will be with you.

skiptree said...


I was diagnosed with stage 2 cancer 5 years ago. My daughters were age 2.5 and 1/2, and I do remember wondering how their lives would be without me. I lamented not seeing them grow, I thought about making a video, or writing them letters to be opened on special days. My wife was probably more devastated than I was, and I kept my spirits up for both of us. Thankfully I had the type of cancer that you wish for if you are ever diagnosed with cancer - papillary carcinoma aka thyroid cancer. I had a partial neck dissection due to the aggressive growth of the tumor, but it has been 5 years, and the thoughts of not being there for my family have been replaced with happiness for every moment that I have. Keep your focus on the after treatment. Find whatever humor you can in the absurd moments. demand a daily standup with the staff and your weekly retrospective. I look forward to your post where you talk about your hair growing back, and this ordeal being behind you.

Roderick Lim Banda said...

I came across your blogs on Agile but you are my new hero. My mom's cancer battle was life changing for me and my family. Have two sons and a very caring wife. My mom was a doctor and a guru of life. Family is everything and you are a beacon and a pillar. All the positive energy to you and keep writing - if not software code, the code of life.

Jon said...

My son just finished (joyously) treatment for ARMS Stage IV at MSKCC. Very happy boy. Amazing care. Frame of mind matters a lot -- yours seems strong and positive. Happy to share the experience and any advice I can offer after 5 years in treatment

Anonymous said...

Wendy,are you still there?! =(